Sunday, January 01, 2006

Meat is Murder. Yeah, So?

By: Misty Nuckolls - Entropic Doom - Fear of a Neutral Planet

Snoop Zone Guest Blogger

PETA blows ass. Seriously, folks, these are some grade-A whiny-ass pussy leftist sissy morons.
Now, I'm not dogging on all vegetarians, vegans, macrobiotic Mooneys or anything like that. Someone who makes the choice to not consume meat based on A) dietary/health reasons, or B) the ecological/environmental argument (the amount of grain it takes to sustain a human vs. the amount it takes to raise one pound of beef, or the methane gas theory, etc.), or chooses not to wear fur because they have central heat and synthetic insulating garments seems, to me, to be making a logical and/or ethical decision, and nothing more. But folks like PETAfreaks just piss me off, because they're just riding on a wave of popular lemur-imitation disguised as opinion. It's not PC anymore to hurt the cute little furry animals, just like it's wrong to say that the majority of women led happier lives when not burdened by the pressures of economic providership.

I've just spent a mirth-filled evening reviewing the PETA site, propelled there by the NY Daily News' article on everybody's favorite bleeding heart pussyfest's plans for the season opening at the Metropolitan Opera. Mainly, they plan on flinging about a skinned fox and screeching "Here's the rest of your fur coat!" in a wearying repetition of their poster campaign starring some airbrushed UPN actress I've never heard of. Now, this raises a number of queries. First, where does the proposed skinned fox come from? Are they willingly sacraficed by noble foxes eager to martyr themselves for their brethren? And second, do these idiots actually think that it takes only one or two foxes to make a nice jacket? Pshaw, silly hippies, a quality coat is crafted from the pelts of many animals!!
The only thing I'll concede to PETA is that they have marketing down something fucking fierce. Their ads are visually compelling, and usually flawlessly crafted. They get your attention, all right, albeit for a stupid cause.

I have a number of beefs (pun probably intended) with screechy twats like this. First off, the most obvious. I like meat. And fur. I hunt, when I get the chance, and I've cleaned and eaten what I've killed, and been damned proud of it. I kill for food, not sport, and I come from a long line of folks who did the same. My dad, who's fucking awesome by the way, used to trap, back when a good racccoon pelt would get you 30 bucks (keep in mind this is when 30 bucks would actually pay the month's gas bill) and a fox more than that, and that's not counting beaver and muskrat and rabbit. The bunnies, of course, got eaten, but not having much use for squirrel and muskrat meat, his dogs got fat and happy. Is my dad a heartless asshole? Well, contrary to my petulant musings while grounded for something absolutely silly that of course seemed perfectly rational to a 14-year-old, no, he's not. He is a practical person doing practical things in an increasingly impractical and priority-skewed world.

I personally find nothing wrong with killing animals for my own gain, as long as that gain doesn't have anything to do with compensating for my lack of whatever via the stuffed spooky head of some once-majestic creature who almost certainly yielded only tough and inedible meat mounted on my wall. If my heartless murder of a furry fellow creature means food in my belly or necessary bills paid through its pelt, then more power to me and the whole grand damned cycle of life. I get a little fuzzy when it comes to fur farms, but of course that really comes from my deep-seated belief that there are far too many people on the planet, and if it all got balanced out there would be plenty of room for critters to trap and not so many damned bitches who are only out in the cold for the time it takes to get from a cab or limo into a Starbucks or Macy's. Same with mass-scale cow/pig/chicken farms. It's not that I'm against raising animals for their fur or meat, but simply that there are too many greedy gullets clamboring for said fur and meat who aren't producing it themselves.

But my biggest bitch with PETA and their cohorts is really the fact that they give the suffering of critters precedence over the countless atrocities that we commit against our fellow people.
Now, regular readers of my blog will possibly be scratching their heads at this point, since I'm a big advocate of less people on the fucking globe. I am, but that doesn't mean that I think that the majority of folks already here deserve to be subjected to lives of misery. Sterilization, maybe, but that's getting off subject.

Every fucking day, while the pasty vegans of the world assault hapless consumers and coworkers with stale catch-phrases and skewed facts, there are more and more reports of children being beaten to death because they wet the bed, mothers and fathers killing their children in spite-fits and murder-suicide dramas or sexually exploiting their genetic immortality, sadists and their waste-of-protien girlfriends violently enslaving hapless women, 14-year-olds raping 12-year-olds, fucked-up children shooting their peers (Which, by the way, PETA blames on animal dissection in biology classes).

Go look at PETA's media site, and then tell me that that sort of incredible talent isn't wasted on a useless but emminently marketable cause.
But more than that, go look at it because it's fucking hilarious!! I, for instance, got a huge kick out of their blind assesment of me, in which they say, ". . . one day you realized you would not eat your dog, so why should you eat a cow or a chicken?" Damned straight I would eat my dog, if I was hungry and there were few other options. My husband just said the most romantic thing to me tonight while we were discussing the site: "Honey, there are a damned few things I wouldn't eat if it came down to it, and you're one of them." Awwwww! How sweet!!!
The best quote on the whole freakin' site so far, though, has to be from their 'zine for kids, "Ggrrrr: The Zine That Bites Back!" (complete with pop-up ad from BURGER-FUCKING-KING, for Christ's sake), where they discuss "practical" animal rescue for the OshKosh set:
"• Don’t get yourself turned into roadkill when rescuing animals on the highway. Be careful—get your parents to block the lane with the car and turn on the flashers. You won’t do the animal any good if you’re dead!"