Monday, January 02, 2006

I don’t want to see blogs by....

MY FIRST EVER BLOG ENTRY, GOOD FOR 2006 TOO!

My Favorite blogs…. Any blog that’s clever, insightful, passionate, cutting edge and real from the heart. No bullshit crap because you want free internet and cable. You know who you are, lazy bastards!

WARNING!
I know there seems to be a blog for everything, So I will attempt to list blogs that I don’t want to see or have people with the following “issues” to do blogs either.........
Gotta problem wit deez take it up wit me!!

NO BLOGS BY: Slackers, flaming gay activists, bitchy man hating single moms, Trailer court Nazi propagandist, Punk ass socialists elitists Vegans, 20-something atheists who have not experienced life rebelling against their parents,
***If you drive that piece of shit car I saw in the Walmart parking lot, license WEU878 the ugliest damm car I have seen in this time, even uglier than Commish Boogs (Lawrence, KS) ride.**** young pompous conservative hacks living off their parents money, liberals who hate Rush Limbaugh but have NEVER listen to his show, people who think the New York Times is a ‘good” news source, people who don’t know that white people have their own affirmative action its called DON’T HIRE DARKIES!
If you think its worth freezing your butt off in below freezing weather to go outside for a smoke, you fell for the advertisements for cordless screwdrivers, KNOWING that screwdrivers don’t have cords, you use phrases like 'alrighty then' or 'you can't handle the truth!' In everyday life, you believe the Ku Klux Klan is NOT a terrorist organization, people who will pay their cable bill before feeding their children, you think Dan Rather made an honest mistake, you actually think “bastard grass” is an acceptable musical format, people who drive and speak on the cell phone when the cell phone cost more than the car, sports fans of a team from a city they have never been to or seen play in person, anyone who thinks Yani is good music, you believed Michael Moore told the truth, the whole truth, you think Walmart is as American as Apple Pie, If you make public proclamations that YOUR religion IS BETTER than another.... trust me you will rot in hell anyway just for being dumb, you watched the movie American Pie and had to do... you know what, shows what sheep some people are and I bet you voted for Herman too, you hate that we went to war for oil but bitch at high gas prices, you have ever said “one of my best friends is black” or “yes I have invited A black person into my home”, pass on the right drive the speed limit on the left, don’t wash your hands after taking a dump, you think your tattoo will look as good at age 70 as it does today, you thought “All In The Family” was awful because of Archie but laugh their asses off at South Park, sneeze on the salad bar, STILL can’t set the time on your VCR, you STILL think Starship's 'We Built This City' is the best song ever made, you agree with TV Guide and think Seinfeld was the greatest TV show of all time... DAMM JOKE!, you think Laci Peterson's husband had NOTHING to do with her disappearance, You still think black people believe O.J. didn’t do it, you think Shrub stole another election and think we should spend more taxpayer money to investigate, you clap at the end of a movie in the theater, as if the director and actors can hear you, you “instant message” at work and are too selfish or just stupid to turn off the computer sound, you think AOL Instant Messenger should get rid of the 'angel' smiley face because it could offend those who do not believe in heaven, YOU SUBSCRIBE TO AOL!, you think bad body odor is a “good” thing, you refer to Colin Powell as “well spoken”, your favorite ethnic restaurant is not run by individuals of that ethnicity, you actually engage in geek snobbery i.e. my computer is better than yours, my iPod is cooler than your music gettin’ device, I have Xbox you suck because you have Playstation, you believe in ESP or extrasensory perception, the SOB who stole my grill!!, you believe that houses can be haunted, you think Kansas should have the confederate flag on top of the capital, you don’t know what the fuss is over the confederate flag cause you just think it's a cool flag, you think ghosts or that spirits of dead people can come back in certain places and situations, you believe in telepathy, or communication between minds without using the traditional five senses, you believe that extraterrestrial beings have visited earth at some time in the past, you believe that clairvoyance, or the power of the mind to know the past and predict the future, you watch that fraud jackass on TV who makes people believe that HE can hear from or communicate mentally with someone who has died, you think "Titanic" was the best movie of the 20th century, you can’t name a single TV network, you believe Elvis is possibly still alive, you want to see the questions on "Millionaire" become less difficult,
you have a sweet ride and you are too lazy to wash the car, you simply have no clue how to take care of your property, people in apartments who rag on people in double wides, you (insist) that JVC is better than RCA........ only audio geeks will get that one, you really think that putting a $1500 set of rims on a shitty ride is a good thing, because you say to yourself "I’ll fix up the rest later"....., you are a vegetarian because you think its healthier BUT you smoke, drink on a regular basis and NEVER exercise.....but you bitch at people who engage in flesh eating!, you have ever said “I only shop
at quality clothing stores,” not knowing the clothes from your “quality” clothing store were made by the same 12 year old overseas!, you have ever said to yourself “I MUST go to church TODAY!”, you have ever said “honey I don’t mind that your front teeth are missing, it shows off your eyes", you voted for Shrub on “moral grounds”, yet you think to yourself how cool it would have been for my history teacher to have screwed me.....meanwhile your wife who is 20 years younger parades around in her new bedroom attire, you have considered eating road kill, you bump to Jessica Simpson in your Escalade, you are considering buying a TIVO when you have never bothered to learn how to use a VCR, you have ever littered while in Downtown Lawrence, you think Don’s Steakhouse has the “best dern stakes in town”, chicks who wear Ugg boots AND you need your ass backhanded for paying $120 plus for those ugly ass wannabee footwear!!, you just can’t get enough redneck humor, you thought Martin Luther King was a trouble maker, you dis church goin’ folk but think the Salvation Army is a fine organization, you actually believe that gay boy scout leaders is a good thing, however you think hetero men should not be girl scout leaders, you drive faster in bad weather because you need to justify buying that SUV, you used child support money to buy yourself a new car AND you still think you don’t get enough child support from that bastard with whom you let knock you up in the back of his pick-up, anyone who has not said "I love you to their mom in the last month, anyone who slaps a bumper sticker on a $20k plus car, anyone who purchased a Yugo, if you STILL have a Herman for president on your car, you have attended a costume party dressed in a Nazi uniform, you introduced yourself to the guy at the next urinal, you have stuck your head over an occupied stall and ask for the time, you wear pajamas in public not cute people...
...Blogs that have Impeach Bush or indict Tom Delay graphic on them, if you thought the president was spying on you, you still believe Hurricane Katrina was racially motivated, if you believe Howard Dean is a smart man, If you believe the Democrats will take control of congress, If you think Snoop will mellow and try to get along better with liberals in 2006. LOL!
Happy 2006.

8 Comments:

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