Thursday, December 29, 2005


There is nothing on the news, so I have to revert back to my Oprah mode today.
In recent weeks, I have posted shit on the craziness of women, mainly because it’s all over the news, and on the web. I have even read some blogs of women who are frankly fucken nutz! Hell, even this morning I was peeping the Today show and the topic was about young teenage girl bullies.
I wish I could put my finger on it but young teen girls, young adult women and women in general are more fucked up today than ever.
Is it lack of dads growing up, sorry ass moms, television, movies, the web, hell I don’t know but the trend of craziness is growing.
Now keep this a secret..... but I have been watching this show called “L-Word”. So this topic is not something I have pulled out of my ass.

Now before you start ranting I love women. My mom and wife both live with me (and get along with each other, (I am blessed). I am moodier then both of them put together, so what I’m about to say isn’t about them. (Yes Mrs. Snoop reads this blog on occasion). And I love other women too. My surrogate sisters, my daughters, my daughter-in-laws. Even my interns at work! I’ve often said if I ever had my own company, I’d hire all women. They’re often better employees - harder working, smarter, and just nicer people in general. Plus, I like looking at the pretty ones. I’m not a woman hater or basher.
I have worked in two places where I was the only man in the department. Frankly I prefer to be surrounded by women.

NOW with that said, I’m just wondering: What is fuck is up with some of you women? Seriously. I can’t tell you how many otherwise normal females I have lately seem to totally wacked out over what are essentially small things, and then (this is the part that fucks with my head) they wonder why no one sane wants to be around them.
Hello!! Who wants to have anything to do with someone who is throwing things (whether its mean words or objects) at anyone who comes near?

The trigger can be something their man does or doesn’t do (he didn’t call me for a day, he forgot my favorite color, he didn’t notice my new perfume, etc). It can be over some slight at work (they praised her and not me, he implied I was lazy, she didn’t want to have lunch with me, etc.). Or it can be an upset caused by mere strangers (she acted like she was better then me, he stared at my tits, they cut me off in mid-sentence, etc.). Things that are truly aggravating, to be sure. However, my road rage or upset over losing a football game is nothing compared to the drama and chaos some women seem to engage in on a regular basis. Let’s get real for a minute.
If a man who normally means the world to you and who treats you like a princess does one tiny inconsiderate thing, does that mean you are going to be mad at him for weeks or that it’s entirely over with him? If it does, he’s lucky to out of your crazy world!

If you have a bigger issue with someone then just that “Straw that broke the camels back” then own up to it and stop pretending it was just that one small item that set you off. If it was that one small item, then get a fucken grip!

I’m not going to blame hormones or let the LADIES off with that excuse. If you are intelligent enough to figure out your own zip code, you have to know whether or not you get crazy once a month, and if so take steps not to nuke every person and relationship you value during your crazy time. Given warning, most males or people with a survival instinct will do all they can to avoid a crazy ass woman who is otherwise normal most of the month. But just don’t expect us to not notice and resent the craziness!

If the worst and the best day of your life happens in the same week, you have got “roller coaster” problems, and are probably addicted to drama and chaos. Those of you who have a habit of making poor life decisions should just stop blaming the rest of the world for the fact that you can’t seem to be happy....Whose fault is it if you cannot make it a month (or less) without blowing up over something.

Stop taking out your problems on other people. If you like drama that much, you might want to try acting! There’s plenty of community theaters looking for performers! If you need to abuse something or someone, join the roller derby or take up boxing, write a blog!

Most people (especially men) are not mind readers. If you have something to say, then fucken say it. Or step off. Don’t drop hints. Don’t be passive aggressive. Don’t wait for someone to care. (cause most of time we don’t) Say what you want to say, and then face the consequences (don’t expect someone to like being bitched at!).
Try to be logical!! If you want a male to understand what you are communicating, it is going to have to make some sense to them. So ranting will not get your message across, unless your message is “I am crazy. Run away fast!”

If you have an issue with someone, there is no need to communicate that fact while in tears, or through veiled innuendoes, or fucken losing your mind.
If you can’t be calm, then don’t try to do anything important while you are (mental) That’s not time to make important decisions.
If you need to vent, or some time to calm down, then explain that fact (quickly) and wait until you are “normal” (whatever that is for you) before trying to talk with another human being about what is bothering you. You won’t do nearly as much damage to yourself and your relationships! Most people, especially men, do not hear what you are saying if you are crying or yelling or just being an idiot!

If you want other people to figure you out, (you) better have yourself figured out first . If you are chronically unhappy but think that those around you need to cut you some slack, the odds are real high that you are a crazy person, and the only slack you deserve may be in the arms of your straight jacket!

Here’s a hint to women (or people in general) who can’t seem to EVER really be happy in life if every relationship, job, or activity in your life ends (often in pain) or at the very least is often on the brink of ending, THE PROBLEM MAY BE WITH YOU!! Nothing lasts forever, but most people don’t prematurely, and deliberately, kill off the good things they find! People who go from one thing to another (relationship, job, career, hobby, etc), but never find lasting happiness, are often subconsciously sabotaging any chance at a sustained contented life. Why? Because they are masochistic, they actually like the chaos, or they don’t believe they deserve good things!

OK, here’s a short quiz to help you figure it out if you are nutz.... oops if this pertains to you. Just answer “yes” or “no” to these 10 questions:

1. Have you had two or more spouses?

2. Have you broken up with the same someone (or just about) more than 3 times in one year? Extra points if the (near or real) break-ups were all within 6 months.

3. Has anyone ever told you that you were high maintenance (you get extra points for each person who’s said that to you)? It doesn’t matter if you believed them or agree.

4. Do you think that no one in your life has every really truly understood or appreciated you?

5. Do you often rely upon drugs or liquor to help you calm down?

6. Does your own family avoid being around most of the time, or vice versa?

7. Do you rarely go a full day without feeling “different” or “weird” or just extra “unique”?

8. Do you often think other people (especially other women) are jealous of you?

9. Was the last calm & happy period in your life so far back in time that you don’t really remember it very well?

10. Do you think most happy or content people are just settling for less than they could get if they just insisted on more, held out for better, or pushed harder?

Give yourself one point for each yes answer. If you score 5 or higher, you are approaching crazy and need to step back before you get that far. If you score 7 or more you are fucked up and need to either get professional help or get used to living alone without any truly good close friends!

Stop the madness. If you don’t want to be treated like some crazy bitch, then just don’t act crazy! Get some therapy if you are unhappy most of the time. Or get used to being a bitch and embrace all that comes with it. If you think it’s fine to be so crazy go for it - just don’t expect me or other sane people to stick around you for long! The world does not revolve around you. It revolves around me!


Anonymous mitzibel said...

Aw, shucks, Snoop, I love you too, you crazy motherfucker. I picked up some Taurine supplements for your poor liver ;)

Anonymous bethie teh monkey said...

hi snoop.

Anonymous Snoop said...


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